Thursday, August 27, 2009

Monster Movie of the Week: Anaconda (1997)


ANACONDA (1997)

Director: Luis Llosa
Genre: Nature Horror

THE MOVIE

The mid to late '90’s saw a CGI-aided renaissance in monster B-movies. Luis Llosa’s Anaconda was a part of that wave and is somewhat of a minor classic creature feature. It features a well known cast including a pre diva Jennifer Lopez, Eric Stoltz, Ice Cube (with his trademark gangsta staccato delivery) and Owen Wilson and, at the time, the movie showcased what one could do with CGI effects in a fairly low budget monster movie. Refreshingly, among the survivors at the end of the movie are a Latina and a black man, which is a bit of a rarity in this genre.

But of course the real reason to watch Anaconda is Jon Voight’s insanely over-the-top performance as Paul Sarone, a creepy Paraguayan snake hunter who slowly takes over a National Geographic documentary expedition. Not since Al Pacino in Scarface, has a non-Hispanic actor so operatically overplayed a Latino character in a major movie. Sarone speaks with a heavy (and inexplicable) Caribbean-Spanish accent, he leers, he grimaces, he constantly reminds the other characters of his jungle prowess because he “hun’s e’snakes for a leeevin’” I suppose the producers choose Paraguay as Sarone’s country of origin because there was less of a chance of someone saying “Hey! He doesn’t look or sound Paraguayan!” I mean, how often do you run into someone from Paraguay?


THE MONSTER/EFFECTS

Then there are the snakes, which have not aged well in the twelve years since this movie was released. They look fake and plastic and very mid 1990’s CGI. The compositing of shots in which the snake interacts with the actors is pretty bad.

Oh, well. It’s a fun movie with a fantastic set piece at the end set in a very cool abandoned jungle outpost (so what if it looks like it is from a Universal Studios stunt show?)

MONSTERS FEATURED

A couple of giant anacondas and their babies.

DVD AVAILABILITY

Widely available on DVD and also available on Blu-Ray.

MOST MEMORABLE SEQUENCE

It is established early in the movie that anacondas swallow and regurgitate their prey. So after Jon Voight meets his ironic fate he makes a very special cameo appearance and proves that just because your character is dead doesn’t mean you have to stop overacting.

SEQUELS

Anacondas: The Search for the Blood Orchid 2004

TRIVIA

The movie would lead you to believe that anacondas regurgitate their prey often and apparently for the hell of it. In actuality they only do it when startled or in states of high anxiety. So they don’t like to puke any more than you or I.

TRAILER




Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Is This Your girl?




What the fuck is her deal? I'm at work! I'm just trying to have a little me time, catching up on what's happening in the world, studying the changing political climate, researching the current economic crisis. And then she comes along and ruins it all!!

If you're like me and you see a thumbnail of a beautiful picture you admire you probably click to see it in it's full resolution glory. To view it in it's originally intended size as it were. How am I supposed to admire a picture of some mountains if I can't even see the Goddamn tips?! ...of the mountains.

So I take off my pants and click the thumbnail like any sane person would do only to be taken to a page where I have to wait five excruciating seconds before I can "Continue on to My Image". But the worst part is when you hear that familiar "clip clip clip clop" because you left your audio up on the loudest Goddamn setting. And when the realization sets in and you scramble to find that fucking mute button while your pants are around your ankles it's too fucking late, she's already on screen so your whole office hears "Welcome to Adult Friend Finder...". Luckily by now you're able to rip the speakers' cables right out from behind your computer and avoid any further embarrassment. Or at least until later when a co-worker comes into your office and asks if you need an adult friend.

Hey Have You Seen That New The Fourth Kind Trailer?




In the 1990's The X-Files pretty much swallowed the alien abduction subgenre whole but there is still a lot of room for a good story with this theme. For instance, I have yet to see a really good movie that exploits the horror aspect of these stories, with the possible exception of the very awesome last half hour of Fire in the Sky. Personally, these stories scare the crap out of me. The scariest book I have ever read was Budd Hopkins Intruders, a supposedly true story dealing with a long term abduction case in Indiana.

The Fourth Kind is an upcoming movie with Milla Jovovic in which she plays a psychiatrist (!) investigating UFOs in Nome, Alaska and the approach here is definitely horror but perhaps a little too sensational, post-Saw for my liking. The trailer reminds me of The Haunting in Connecticut, which is not really a good thing (Elias Koteas, it's time to get a new agent).

On the other hand, I've a real soft spot of Milla Jovovic ever since The Fifth Element and with a combination of Leeloo and aliens, I don't know how you can go wrong. Besides, I wonder how they will justify her getting naked in this one. I bet good money she wakes up on the side of the road with amnesia wearing nothing but Saran wrap and bits of aluminum foil.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Hey Have You Seen That New Inception Trailer?


Here's the teaser trailer to Christopher Nolan's new movie Inception. Based on this teaser the movie looks to be about....uh....weird moving water'n'shit. Apparently a crime happens in this movie and there's a hallway that forgot to have gravity installed in it. I'm in!
I'm not surprised by the marketing style of this one. After *M. Night Shyamalan's success with The Sixth Sense the studio did everything in their power to not tell you what his follow up film Unbreakable was about. All you needed to know was it starred Bruce Willis and Sam Jackson's jacked up afro.
Same thing seems to be happening here. We don't know what Inception is about but we all loved The Dark Knight so it's safe to say that this movie is going to open big. Still don't think so? Okay? How about this then? It stars Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Paul's boy!), Marion Cotillard (My girl!) and awwwww helll naw!? Did I see Tom Berenger's name in those credits too. I been waiting for him to come back ever since the great trailer for Shattered. Inception arrives in theaters on July 16, 2010.



The great trailer for Unbreakable:


Tom Berenger handling his bidness:


*I was nor am I in any way comparing the talent of M. Night Shymalan and Christopher Nolan. I want to make that clear as glass. Mr. Glass that is. And I'm out!

Faker...Is That Your Boy?

Do you remember Faker from Masters of the Universe? The Evil Robot of Skeletor? No? You probably know him better as The Weird-Ass Blue He-Man. Supposedly Faker was a robot employed by Skeletor to impersonate He-Man. Faker was a perfect replica for He-Man in every way. Except for the fact that he was blue. And that he had red hair. And different armor. And a bright orange sword.

Other than those few sticking points Faker could apparently pass for He-Man. Keep in mind, the Eternians never seemed to notice the fact that Prince Adam and He-Man are the same person so, while they may have been The Masters of the Universe, they were not the smartest people in the universe. Let's give them the benefit of the doubt and say that they were tired from working out all the time (seriously does anyone on the planet not have a six-pack?) and maybe having town hall debates about health care or whatever it is that they do when they are not keeping Skeletor out of Castle Grayskull.

Faker was recently released as a premium action figure on mattycollector.com as part of the Masters of the Universe Classics series. The Evil Robot of Skeletor has an awesome funky paint job and removable armor to reveal...a pair of old-school magnetic tape rolls! How wacky is that? Apparently he was like an evil Omnibot 2000.

Faker looks appropriately pissed off but wouldn't you be if you were him? It can't be easy being the the most inept attempt at an evil twin in the history of pop culture, literally the red headed stepchild of Masters of the Universe, but damn it if he is not a cool action figure.

Here's the old Faker for comparison:

Here he is in action:

Heman - Funny videos are here

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Bonus Monster Movie of the Week: The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms (1953)



THE BEAST FROM 20,000 FATHOMS (1953)

Director: Eugene Lourie
Genre: Monster on the loose, proto-daikaiju movie.

THE MOVIE:

You may not have seen The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms but it is without a doubt one of the most influential genre movies of the 1950’s and beyond. If it seems like a fairly typical 1950’s monster movie (A giant prehistoric creature is awakened by atomic testing at a remote location while bland characters try to find a way to stop it as it wreaks havoc on the nearest big city) that is because it was copied over and over again. It also has an interesting but under-developed subplot about the dinosaur carrying a virulent disease.

Typical alarmist Liberal Media.

Lourie’s was later followed by such movies as Them! (1954) and It Came from Beneath the Sea (1955.) The Beast actually resembles another seminal monster movie: Gojira, or Godzilla: King of the Monsters, (1954) as the Americanized version of the original film was known. The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms is actually the midpoint between King Kong and the original Godzilla series. Like King Kong it uses stop-motion technology to bring the story of a monster terrorizing New York to life. Like Gojira the monster is saurian and is the result of atomic testing.

One could actually make the case that the American Godzilla (1998) was in fact more of a remake of The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms than Gojira. Its creature is far more like the Rhedosaur in nature than Toho’s Godzilla. And the American Godzilla’s landing in New York is almost identical the Rhedosaur’s arrival in The Beast. There are several other shots in the Godzilla remake that seem to intentionally pay homage to The Beast from 20000 Fathoms. Maybe they should have just remade that movie instead.

THE MONSTER/EFFECTS:

The Rhedosaurus effects are accomplished though some very nice stop motion courtesy of the great Ray Harryhousen and some truly crappy hand puppet work for close ups. I was really surprised by how good the creature looked in most of his shots. Its nice to see that in the twenty years since the original King Kong the stop motion techniques were refined to a kind of high art form. The Rhedosaur has a wonderful three dimensionality and texture under the lights and is well integrated into the backgrounds.

New York is a great city...for me to poop on!!

This particular dinosaur is not your usual T-Rex or Allosaurus clone but an invented quadrupedal carnivorous creature. It resembles the animals that Naomi Watts stumbles upon in Peter Jackson’s King Kong (2005) which later chase her into a rotting log before getting munched on by a bigger dino. The Rhedosaur is ike that, but much bigger.

MONSTERS FEATURED:

The Rhedosaurus and some stock footage ocean life.

The Rhedosaur, terrorizing Ralph Kramden's apartment building.

MOST MEMORABLE SEQUENCE:

There are actually quite a few, from the famous attack on the lighthouse to the creature’s entrapment in a Coney Island roller coaster.

DVD AVAILABILITY:

It is available on it’s own with a nice little documentary featuring an interview with Harryhousen and some trailers or in a two-pack with Them!

SEQUELS:

None.

"Where Brooklyn at?"

THE TRAILER:



SEE ALSO

Gojira (1954), King Kong (1933), Godzilla (1998)

Friday, August 21, 2009

Hey Have You Seen That New Capitalism: A Love Story Trailer?

Here's the trailer to Michael Moore's new documentary Capitalism: A Love Story. What can you say about Michael Moore? People either love him or hate him. I'm a fan of his. I don't always agree with him but in a world where people are getting their own television shows for shooting 8 kids out of their cooch I'll take a guy who's at least trying to do something funny and smart in front of a camera.
Here he is doing what I love seeing him do. Chasing old rich white dudes with cameras. They can make that an Olympic event with just Moore competing. Alright now I support Chicago's bid for the 2016 Olympics. Cleeeeearrrly that was the deal breaker.
My one issue with a new Michael Moore movie is the same fear I had with the Bruno movie. How much will Moore be able to get away with on camera? Moore is such a recognizable face that his targets probbably know who he is by now and they are not going to talk to him. Chase them old rich white dudes any way Mike! I would but then I'd miss a day of work and wouldn't get paid, yadda yadda yadda. Take a look at the trailer for yourself peoples and if you see an old white dude on the street ask him, "Hey! Where's all my paper at son!"
Capitalism: A Love Story arrives in theaters on October 2nd. I hope that's a payday or else I can't afford to see it.

Hey, Have You Seen That New The Wolfman Trailer?


The trailer for The Wolfman is out and it looks awesome. When I heard Michelle Pfeiffer and Jack Nicholson were teaming up, like you I thought "Awesome! Catwoman vs. the Joker!". Then they throw in James Spader? Sign me up! What? Wait...what'd I say?

Oh...this is a different movie. Word. Anthony Hopkins is back reprising his role as Dr. Van Helsing in the new film The Wolfman. What? Not him? I don't understand...

Ok, I'm back. I've done a little research. This is a whole different movie. Apparently this is a trailer for another version of The Wolfman starring Academy Award winner Benicio Del Toro, Academy Award winner Anthony Hopkins and Teen Choice Award nominee Emily Blunt.

"Inspired by the classic Universal film that launched a legacy of horror, The Wolfman brings the myth of a cursed man back to its iconic origins. Oscar winner Benicio Del Toro stars as Lawrence Talbot, a haunted nobleman lured back to his family estate after his brother vanishes. Reunited with his estranged father (Oscar winner Anthony Hopkins), Talbot sets out to find his brother...and discovers a horrifying destiny for himself. Joe Johnston directs The Wolfman, and six-time Oscar®-winning special effects artist Rick Baker brings his design and makeup talents to transform Del Toro into the fearsome title character." Thanks Trailer Addict!

This trailer didn't quite sink its teeth into me. I was surprised to see they cast Benicio as Hopkins son...I know, in Barack Obama's America we don't see race, but this was slightly jarring as Benicio is one of the leading Latino actors of our generation and Anthony Hopkins is black. Maybe we'll see his mother in the film and all we be resolved. Aside from that it felt like your standard CG affair. There's some interesting werewolf transformation visuals but nothing revolutionary or mind blowing. Run of the mill. If I have my periods correct, I'm looking forward to Sherlock Holmes a little more. Judge for yourself, The Wolfman opens in theaters February 10th, 2010.



And now for some real werewolf action!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Ex Games: Turok Dinosaur Hunter



When a man meets that special video game, there is a certain magical spark that occurs. There has to be a special kind of chemistry that will let him know, This is the right game for me. After all, how often have you been recommended a video game, read a glowing review in a magazine only to find when you have taken it home-gotten it out of its packaging, fooled around with its tutorial level-this is not a game with which you can spend hours and hours. This is awkward and uncomfortable for all involved.

However, with certain games you know you can commit right away. It's cool. You know this is a game that you will play often and worthy of your collection. But, sadly, nothing lasts forever and there is no real monogamy in video games.

These are my ex games.

In 1996 I bought a Nintendo 64, upon learning about the upcoming Star Wars game, Shadows of the Empire (a long and sad story for another time involving the quest for the perfect Star Wars game). After some nauseating hours playing Super Mario 64, I finally got used to the idea of 3D gaming and soon discovered the joy of the classic first-person shooter Turok: Dinosaur Hunter (in my mind it will always be Turok, The Dinosaur Hunter). I spent hours and hours in my little studio apartment in Rogers Park completely immersed in this (at the time) amazing world of killer dinosaurs, attempting to locate all of the pieces of the Chronoscepter. Turok was loaded with some absolutely insane weapons and featured a uniquely open and expansive world for its time when corridor shooters like Doom were the norm.

Personally, I was knocked out by the design aspects of the game, particularly its locations which had a real world, Pre-Colombian historical aesthetic. Many of the building were based on Mayan or Incan structures which really captured my imagination at the time. In some strange way, this game was a stepping stone towards some of the things in which I would be interested later in life and some of the traveling that I would do. When I finally made it to my first Inca ruin, high in the Andes of Peru, I couldn't help thinking of Turok.

I will always regret that I never finished this game. I'm not sure how it all ended. Shame. Boredom. Negligence. A furtive transaction at Funcoland. You spend weeks and weeks together and this is what happens. It makes it hard to keep playing video games. Maybe one day I will see Turok on the Wii Virtual Console and I will take it out for a spin. Or maybe it will never be the same.

Maybe I should leave well enough alone.





Hey Have You Seen That New Avatar Trailer?


Well hello James Cameron. I want to thank you for joining us back here on the surface and no longer making documentaries about the Titanic. Can you believe that the last movie James Cameron directed was Titanic? That feels like it came out way back in 1997 because....well it came out way back in 1997. After 12 years Cameron is back with the long awaited ridiculously anticipated Avatar. Expectations are through the nerd-roof with this one partly because it's James Cameron and him not making a movie since the aforementioned (ooooh I used the word aforementioned today!) Titanic. Also much has been said, from Cameron himself at times, about the groundbreaking 3D technology we are going to be seeing in the movie. Well the trailer is out and what do I think?
I can't comment on the 3D aspect because the trailer isn't in 3D, but the visuals in this movie? Worrrrd. They are ridiculous. The landscapes, the Na'vi creatures, (those are the Blue aliens we see for all you nerds who haven't been following the pre-production of this movie and yes I did adjust my glasses as I wrote that), the Mech suits (similar to those seen in the Matrix Revolutions and thank you will I adjust my glasses again), the battles in the sky between the Na'vi and those military future-copters (also similar to those seen in The Incredibles and for the final Tri-force of Power I will just lower my glasses slightly and peer at you).
I am interested in seeing Cameron's vision of the military in the future. Movies are still ripping off today what he did with his vision of the military from Aliens. If we get anyone like Hudson or Hicks, (hell I'll even take Carter Burke!) here then Cameron could be crowned King yet again. Oh and did I mention Sigourney Weaver is in this? Lord. A. Mercy. You know what the more I'm writing this the more I'm believing that this movie is going to be great. Avatar arrives in theaters on December 18th. You can see the trailer at Apple by clicking here.




Myles: Is it ok to be disappointed? I know I'm going to get a lot of shit for this but really, I've been waiting 12 years for Cameron to make a film. 12 years!! And our first glimpse of his new movie looks like yet another Hollywood CG fest. I know it's just a teaser but still. And the plot? Let me guess, a soldier who can't walk transfers his mind into an "avatar" to go searching for something on another planet only to get lost, fall in love with the hostiles and join them in their fight against the humans. Am I close? I'm guessing I am.

But after having said all that the question is will it be any good? I'm guessing absofuckinglutely. This is Cameron after all. The guy hasn't made a bad movie yet. Yes even you Pirahna II. And lets not forget it will be in 3D which will guarantee to rape your eyeballs.

RICKY: It is okay to be disappointed Myles. It's a CG fest but it's Cameron who's in charge. That's the big difference. I don't think he's doing this just to show off his new toys. This isn't based on a video game, even though there will be a game coming out based on the movie and some shots look like they could belong in Turok Dinosaur Hunter (name drop!). He's had the story in his mind for quite some time but didn't want to make it because the technology wasn't there. You got the plot pretty right on. There might be some differences here and there but you could call this Dances With Na'vi. I can find another bad Cameron movie. How about The Abyss? Yeah I said it. You know why? Cause it ain't good.

PAUL: I knew that was coming...The Abyss rocks! You're crazy for thinking it doesn't. The Abyss adds to Cameron's collection of watershed moments in visual effects history. The Abyss water tentacle paved the way for the T-1000. Titanic obviously broke new ground in visual effects and I've got confidence that this movie will do likewise. I'm just hoping we get to see some Arturians!

PATRICK: I'd like to chime in here to say, I don't know how this movie cannot disappoint. I think James Cameron was well on his way to George Lucas-sized hubris by the time Titanic came out. The "King of the World" hasn't made a narrative film in 12 years, and stewing in your own success for a decade does not often make for great films. I'm afraid Avatar is going to be the tone-deaf, bloated, and self important work of an egotistical filmmaker who has had more success than is good for him. I hope I'm wrong, but I think Cameron is past making the lean, tight, unpretentious movies of his youth for which we all love him.

RICKY: I agree with what you said Paul but the effects didn't make The Abyss a good movie. The story is the main problem in The Abyss. The characters seem more like caricatures. Outside of Ed Harris, Michael Biehn (our boy!) and Mary Elizabeth Mastra-Mastro-you know who I'm talking about, the acting is pretty weak. You said yourself your favorite character in the movie is Tracy Chapman and she's hardly in it! James Cameron is not a director who I give a pass to because the effects outweigh the story. He is held to a higher standard as I'm sure every other nerd on here would agree. He belongs to the small class of directors who relies more on story and his ridonkulous groundbreaking effects on top of that to tell the story. I'm no way ready to put Cameron in George Lucas territory yet like Patrick. Cameron at least kept directing movies after his initial success. Lucas is still talkin' bout "I'm ready to step out the Star Wars universe BUT before I do I have this idea for a Star Wars TV show.". I got an idea George. Stop wearing plaid shirts.

PATRICK: The Abyss is when it started going downhill for me. Lot of good elements but not a cohesive movie. When a director starts getting too big to listen to people then you get big bloated movies like The Abyss or Titanic. Even Terminator 2 was too long. Compare that to Aliens or Terminator where there is really no time wasted at all. In fact, one can argue that some of those deleted scenes from Aliens should never have been cut at all.

The other thing about Avatar that looks annoying is that I have a suspicion that Cameron is working out some Vietnam bullshit as people his age like to do in sci-fi movies. Like George Lucas saying the Endor battle at the end of Return of the Jedi was a metaphor for Vietnam. Or Cameron himself saying a similar thing about Aliens and how it was like Vietnam because it was high tech weaponry failing against a low tech enemy. So, I suspect some of that is going to be a factor in Avatar. My question is, how sheltered are you when human beings from another culture are as exotic to you as space aliens? I like metaphor as much as the next guy but that is a crazy-ass leap.

Another Reason To Be Where The Wild Things Are.



As if you needed another reason to want to see Where The Wild Things Are now comes this amazing news. Karen O. is doing the soundtrack to Where The Wild Things Are. Alright, all together now: SOLID!
Pitchfork.com has the article on the soundtrack's release date (September 29). Rolling Stone has the article which you can check out here revealing who the rest of her bandmates are on the soundtrack. You can check out the first single Highway 61 right here. I did and I dig it. Big thumbs up. My girl grooves like a rock star. We'll all be listening as we watch Where The Wild Things Are when it's released on October 16th.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Hey Have You Seen That New Gentlemen Broncos Trailer?



Here's the trailer to the upcoming comedy Gentlemen Broncos. The two selling points at the top of the poster above are not what make me want to go see this movie. I've never seen Napolean Dynamite. When I've tried to I've gotten bored immediately. Nacho Libre is on my "I'll get to it" movie list. No beautiful peoples the two main selling points for me in this trailer are Jemaine Clement and Sam Rockwell. Clement is half of the very funny comedy duo Flight Of The Conchords. If you don't know who Sam Rockwell is (and you won't recognize him in the trailer if you're not) you better ask somebody. Currently he's starring in this summer's highly rated/highly under seen Moon.
You know what? My apologies to you Mr. Sam Rockwell. I've done you a disservice myself by not seeing more of your movies. My favorite performances of yours are from Galaxy Quest and Charlie's Angels. That'd be like if someone asked me what my favorite Pacino performances and I said Revolution and Cruising.



I stand by Galaxy Quest being a great movie though. It's hilarious and Sam Rockwell's hilarious in it. Charlie's Angels? Well judge me if you must. Regardless I'm not being fair to you Mr. Rockwell. Your movies are currently in my Netflix queue so I hope all will be forgiven.
Gentlemen Broncos is the story of "a loveable loner whose passion for writing leads him on an offbeat and hilarious journey as his story first gets ripped off by the legendary fantasy novelist, Ronald Chevalier (Jemaine Clement) and then is adapted into a disastrous movie by the small town’s most prolific homespun filmmaker." Thank you Trailer Addict for that lovely description. Thank you Jed Resnik for letting me know about this trailer. Who's Jed Resnik? He has a great site out of New York that you should check out as well. Gentlemen Broncos arrives in theaters on October 30, 2009.


Dr. Ronald Chevalier - The Art Of Relaxating



Dr. Ronald Chevalier - Fallout

Christopher Johnson? Is That Your Boy?

I recently saw District 9 and enjoyed it thoroughly. If ever there was a movie that could live as a badass video game franchise this is it (my apologies to Caligula). From the various weapons and skill classes to vehicles and potential for different environments, on Earth and otherwise, I felt this is a game I need to play!

But back to the film, which I thought was amazing. Technically it's brilliant. Some movies know exactly how to handle CG effects and some movies don't have a clue (see G.I. Joe). With the improvement of motion tracking software the shaky cam has entered the CG world with very impressive results. Often times a shot is deliberately presenting exactly what the graphics department has done in a way they would not have framed it had it been a real actor. In District 9 we get none of that. Prawns populate the corners of the frame, scurry about and are never on display as a pat on the directors back. This world looks real. The weapons look real and their results look frighteningly real. The visual effects gave me the sort of visceral (yeah Ricky, you read the word "visceral" today) reaction I only seem to find in non-Hollywood extravaganza's (see The Host), fan films (remember Troops?) or mystery films which are becoming so advanced these days they can no longer be categorized as such.

It makes me wonder how big budget movies can get it so wrong. With a lot of money can sometimes come complacency. It strikes me that the crew of a film like District 9 might have more of a connection to the material than the group working on Spiderman 3. Sure, they're professionals and they're getting paid, but in the end, it's Spiderman that's up on that screen...not their hard work. When working on a film like District 9, perhaps they're more inclined to really push their creative and artistic limits. Perhaps so they can get a fat-cat job on a Spiderman 3, take long lunches and phone it in...right Brett?

District 9 had a budget of $30 million dollars. G.I. Joe had a budget of $170 million. Transformers 2 had a budget of $200 million. Spiderman 3 had a budget of $258 million! Caligula's budget was $22 million...22 million? Really Caligula? In the long run, which one of these films will be remembered (sans Caligula of course)? District 9. Without a doubt. The film proves that creativity and intelligence trumps formula and boat loads of cash.

Of course we all fear that District 10 will have a budget of $300 million dollars, go to the "prawns" homeworld and be all kinds of suck. I'm hoping that the people involved are smart enough not to do that (see Episodes I, II and III).

Now, onto my guy, Christopher Johnson. What an interesting character. It's a clever trick to give him a son. He's instantly humanized. I read on the internets that some are speculating that perhaps Christopher was at one time a human. That he has already undergone the transformation Wikus is experiencing. I don't know about that. First...he's got an alien son. Second, he's extremely loyal to his "people". He knows about his homeworld and is very proficient at the technology. So, sorry, but it's an interesting thought. Moving on, the character of Christopher Johnson is likeable in the mythology because it shows that the prawns have lower intellegent members and higher intelligent members as well. It should come as no surprise that a species that can create a vehicle like the space craft is not a dumb species. Why they didn't land in Vegas though I'll never know. And those weapons. Yowza. No thanks. Keep that away from me. The last thing I want is for the military to get their hands on those. Again though, awesome video game weapons. So, Christopher, who spent twenty years looking for some fluid he didn't seem all that excited to find, father of a little prawn, ally to a particularly unfortunate individual and potential savior (Christ-opher?) of his race...is that your boy?

Shameless plug: Here's Christopher Johnson's Facebook fan page...holding steady with 2 fans at the time of this post! Get on that!

And for fun, here's the original short film District 9 by Neill Blomkamp. Good stuff, along with some other things.



The Host Trailer:



Troops:



And of course...I give you Caligula:

Monster Movie of the Week: The Thing (1982)




The Thing (1982)
Director: John Carpenter
Genre: Horror/Suspense

THE MOVIE:

John Carpenter's The Thing is the story of a small group of men who are manning a remote American Antarctic outpost. Their isolation is interrupted by the arrival of a mysterious dog which is chased by a helicopter from a distant Norwegian settlement. Attempting to kill the dog, the helicopter and it's pilot are destroyed. MacReady (Kurt Russell) and some others from the American base investigate the Norwegian settlement to find it destroyed. They also find what appears to be a flying saucer half buried in the ice and a mangled semi-human body.

When they return to the American station, the mysterious dog begins to mutate into some sort of Lovecraftian tentacle monster, attempting to absorb and mutate the other dogs in its pen but is torched by the crew before it can finish. From here we can very well have Alien On Ice, after all, this was produced immediately after the success of Ridley Scott's movie. No doubt, the success of Alien allowed The Thing to be made. However, the twist offered by Carpenter's movie is that this alien creature is able to assume the form of any other organism, so from a dramatic point of view it offers the suspense of never knowing which members of the crew are human and which have been infected by the monster. This fact alone helps underscore the tension and heighten the relationships between the characters, adding a nice mystery element to the story. It's the rare movie of this genre that gives its actors something to do other than running around screaming.

The Thing was released at the tail end of the late '70's and early 80's sci-fi movie boom and was lost in the shuffle, actually being released the same month as Blade Runner and E.T. At the time of it's release it was criticized for its excessive gore and disgusting special effects. It is one of those movies that actually found its legs on the subsequent home video market, which was barely existent when it was first released. The movie has spawned a number of comic book sequels as well as a video game.

The Thing is actually a remake of a fifities sci-fi movie, The Thing From Another World, which in turn was loosely based on the novella "Who Goes There?" written in the '30's by John W. Campbell, which seems to have borrowed the Antarctic setting and themes from "At The Mountains of Madness" by H. P. Lovecraft. Carpenter's remake actually stays closer to the plot of the novella, and restores the movie's idea that the creature can assume anyone's shape or identity. It also seems to have inspired the first season X-Files episode "Ice."

THE MONSTER/EFFECTS:

The Thing is a seriously gory and disgusting movie but the effects are groundbreaking and imaginative and push the envelope of pre-digital effects. You don't really see effects this imaginative until T2 is released in 1991. I can even say that for a movie released in 1982 there are a few shots that DONT look dated today, which is pretty good for a movie that relies on stop-motion and animatronics.

The monster is only recognizable as a monster when it is in midtransformation, when it is a mismatched collection of tentacles and bizarre flowery appendages, with human and animal parts randomly thrown in. Sadly, one never gets to see the alien's true form which would have been cool at the finale. Perhaps it doesn't have one.

MONSTERS FEATURED:

"The Thing" in various forms.

DVD AVAILABILITY:



Collector's Edition released in 1998 with an 80 minute documentary, commentary from Carpenter and Russell and deleted scenes.

There is also a Blu-Ray which I haven't yet seen.

SEQUELS:

None, but there have been rumors over the last five years or so about a sequel/prequel/remake. Right now, it looks likely to be a prequel set in the Norwegian base.

SEE ALSO:

Alien (1979), The Fly (1986), The X-Files "Ice" 1993

TRAILER:

Hey Have You Seen That New The Box Trailer?




Here's the trailer to the upcoming film The Box. It stars Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, and 1/3 of Frank Langella's face. The Box is a film about married couple Diaz and Marsden who are going through tough economic times in the '70's. Just when it seems like they are at the end of their rope Frank Lagella's tore up face shows up with a small box and quite the offer. If they push the button on the box they will recieve $1 million dollars. Brilliant! The catch? Someone will die when they push the button. Do they push the button knowing someone is going to have to die in order for them to get out of their own hardships? If I was in this movie it would go like this:

1/3 of Frank Langella's Face: If you push the button you will recieve a million dollars but someone will--

Cut to me shoving Cameron Diaz out of the way then slamming down on the button. End credits roll.

It'd be an easy decision for me is all I'm saying. Especially if it could be someone I don't know. The scene could also go like this:

1/3 of Frank Langella's Face: If you push the button you will recieve a million dollars but someone somewhere will die.

Me: Actually 1/3 of Frank Langella's face, here's a list of some people who really don't deserve to be here. Take one of them, throw in an extra million, and I'll help you out with your face situation.

Cut to me shoving Cameron Diaz out of the way then slamming down on the button. End credits roll.

I liked just about everything I saw in this trailer. It's what I don't see that does not have me sold on it completely. The Box is directed by Richard Kelly who's first film was Donnie Darko (good but overrated) and who's second film was Southland Tales (I've been told it's not good and it was terribly rated). I'm going to see it regardless partly because I'm just happy at the fact that their is a scary movie coming out in October that doesn't have the word Saw and a Roman numeral in the title. The Box opens in theaters on October 30th, 2009.

Monday, August 17, 2009

He-Ro.....Is That Your Boy?





Mattel has a new collector line, Masters of the Universe Classics sold exclusively on MattyCollector, featuring all your favorite MOTU characters such as He-Man, Skeletor, Trap Jaw and...He-Ro. Who the hell is He-Ro, you ask? He-Ro was an ultra rare prototype from an unproduced prequel line to Masters of the Universe that was to be set in ancient Eternia. This month he was made available to own for the first time.

I'm a big fan of this action figure line but, is it just me, or does He-Ro look like he just roller-skated out of a production of Xanadu? And did everyone in ancient Eternia have '80's hair?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Hey Have You Seen The New Legion Trailer?



Hey peoples! Here's the trailer to the upcoming film Legion starring Paul Bettany (the albino from The Da Vinci Code), Dennis Quaid (not the enemy from the classic Enemy Mine), Charles S. Dutton (Roc from ROC), the scariest Ice Cream Man ever, and a Crazy Ass Freaky Old Woman (Estelle Getty returning from the grave maybe?) who you shouldn't let anywhere near your unborn child. Trailer Addict describes the story as this, "When God loses faith in Mankind, he sends his legion of angels to bring on the Apocalypse. Humanity's only hope lies in a group of strangers trapped in a desert diner and the Archangel Michael.". My first reaction after watching the trailer was, "Is this The Prophecy with a bigger budget?".
I liked what I saw here especially that Ice Cream Man. That's a pretty freaky intro. That creature looks like it could exist in the world of John Carpenter's The Thing with it's stretchy skin and twisted figure. I'm never going to look at an Ice Cream man the same way ever again. I do find it kind of strange that the trailer is over five minutes long. It doesn't need to be that long. It's like a trailer for a movie from the '70's where they practically showed you the whole movie. That's my main problem with this one. The pacing is all off. There's a lot of set up and then a lot of action shots. They could shave off a good two minutes from this trailer and have something that piques your interest, hits you with the action, then gives you a release date. Instead they try and make sure that you really understand what the plot of the movie is about and it does more harm than good. Good intention, bad execution. Watch and decide for yourself. Legion arrives in theaters January 22, 2010.





And here's an Ice Cream Man we all remember and love:

Monday, August 10, 2009

Hey Have You Seen The Newest Where The Wild Things Are Trailer?



Based on the first trailer for Where The Wild Things Are and now this new one it’s safe to say this film is going to win the “It’s Okay To Be A Grown Man and Cry While Watching This Movie” Award. I remember reading the behind the scenes stories about this movie and the studio not happy with the footage they were seeing. What the hell were they looking at? What were they being shown? I don’t need to describe this trailer. It’s awesome. Check it.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

G.I. JOE: The Invasion of Cobra Island




Can't wait for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra to arrive in theaters tomorrow? Then talk to this:

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Hey Have You Seen That New The Lovely Bones Trailer?



The trailer for Peter Jackson's newest movie The Lovely Bones has arrived over at Apple and you can watch it right here. The movie is based on the book of the same name and tells the story of a young girl who is murdered and then watches the effects this has on her family and her killer from heaven. The cast includes Mark Wahlberg, Rachel Weisz, Susan Sarandon, Michael Imperioli, and Stanley Tucci. I'm making a prediction right now after seeing this trailer for the first time: Stanley Tucci will get an Oscar nomination for his role in this movie. Stanley Tucci has been my boy ever since his role as manipulative sum-ma-mabitch Richard Cross on the cancelled too soon ABC show Murder One and his role as the ambitious restaurant owner Secondo in the highly underwatched film Big Night.
The moment that sold me on Stanley Tucci in this trailer is when pictures are being shown of him as a possible suspect (I assume that's why they are being shown) to Wahlberg and Weisz, who play the parents of the murdered child, and the pictures show them everything but Stanley Tucci's face. It's pretty creepy.
I see quite a few Academy Award nominations headed towards The Lovely Bones after watching this trailer. Take a look for yourself. The Lovely Bones arrives in theaters on December 11, 2009.

Holler at Big Night if you ever get a chance.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Chest Rockwell....Is That Your Boy?



Chest Rockwell....My guy!