Terminator Salvation: My Terminator Can Beat Up Your Terminator

So before we get started, I'm going to be talking about this movie as if you've seen it, so if you don't want to be spoiled, don't read.  But let's be real...no one is reading this.

One more thing...Spoilers below!

Now, let me get some things off my chest. Just saw Terminator Salvation. I enjoyed parts of it, and disliked others. It's as though I like what it added to the story but wasn't thrilled with the execution. I liked the Schwarzenegger cameo. Fantastic. I thought that was very cool. I've wondered how they were going to explain that version of the T-800. Would there be several kinds of T-800's? We know from the first Terminator that they had other models. So that was welcome. I almost wanted more. The problem there is that you don't want to get into Borat territory, or Eastern Promises, where the scene becomes known for having a naked guy fight. There should have been a bit of recognition on John Connor's face when the T-800 storms out of the doorway. This is the first time Connor has seen a terminator of this model want to kill him. This guy was his friend. His savior. Now he wants his ass. A better director might have handled that a little smoother. With a little more emotion and drama. I'm not saying the Terminator series needs to be a Merchant Ivory film, but T2 included real human drama within its story. This movie didn't attempt it. I put that on McG. 

What's the point of the hybrid terminator? Really? Why are these being created?  I guess it was being created to kill John Connor? For what? Cyberdyne doesn't even know who he is! At this point Connor is not the leader of the Resistance.  He's a guy with a radio show.  And Kyle Reese? They have no idea who he is. They don't know that's Connor's father. Do they? How could they? Why is he at the top of their list? He's just a guy trying to survive. Nobody special. Who's his friend? The kid.  The mute? What's the purpose for that? I guess the goal is to show that Reese is a natural protector. It makes his defense of Sarah Connor a little more layered. He was the right man for the job for other reasons. Not just that he's gonna knock up Johny's mamma.  I still don't like it.  He could have been a douche.  The exact opposite of someone Connor would want to hook up with his mom.  This would have been a role for a young Pvt. Hudson.  If that guy was supposed to go back in time and "get to know" your mother, would you send him?

This brings me to an interesting question. Could a T-1000 ever go up against a T-1000 and win? There'd be no sense in creating blades, because it'd just go into the other 1000 and do no harm. You wouldn't even punch one...because it'll just go into its body and melt into another position. I think the only way they'd fight would be to blend into a giant glob and fight at some molecular level.

So John's girl is pregnant. What is that setting up? How about this... Kyle Reese isn't the Kyle Reese that goes back in time. John names his son Kyle Reese, and he goes back in time and impregnates Sarah Connor. That's right...his grandmother. Let that marinate.

You'd be your own granddad.

Ok, probably not.

I dug a lot of the Skynet stuff. But why does Skynet look like it was designed for humans? Aren't humans out of the picture? These 800's are being created for the sole purpose of exterminating the remaining survivors. It looked like there were desks, tables, chairs...wouldn't it all look like a factory?  Didn't I see a vending machine in the corner?

I don't like that Connor got the hybrid's heart. No way would that work. And that's quite a risk to just do that operation. Why would the heart in that thing be anything but a box with valves and tubes? It wouldn't be anything compatible with a human heart. Now Connor is part Terminator? This just adds all new kinds of layers. Connor is now part Cyberdyne? What the hell? So if he successfully destroyed Skynet in the past he wouldn't have this heart to keep him alive. I guess he also wouldn't need it as well.

So here we go.  The next movie will need to showcase the events that Kyle Reese describes in the police station in The Terminator.  That movie should end with the resistance breaking in another Skynet branch, and sending Kyle Reese back.  They'll have to show more Schwarzenegger 800's.  Maybe armies full.  That'd be nice.  Perhaps they'll work to perfect this CGI technology for the future movies.  Armies of 800's.  One will be sent back to 1984 and Connor will send back Reese.  That will be a good moment too, because Connor will know he's sending his father to his certain death.  He's saying goodbye to the dad he's never really known.  Does Reese even know he's Connor's father?  Was that ever established?  What a messed up family.  Perhaps it would go a little something like this...

CONNOR

Reese, over here.

REESE

You can't talk to me like that.  I'm your father.

CONNOR

Not yet you're not!

Then what, the third in this new trilogy should introduce the T-1000's and maybe even the chic Terminator.  I'll admit, I'm not as familiar with T3.  I saw it, but I haven't seen it lately.  They'll have to capture and reprogram an 800 to go back to protect a young John Connor.  That should be the beginning of the 3rd movie.  It's my understanding that the 800 that protects Connor in T3 was reprogrammed after Connor was killed by that very same Terminator.  So maybe that's the end of the 3rd movie?  Connor dies, the Terminator is sent back and then there's some reveal, or some recognition that nothing has happened.  That sending the Terminator back hasn't changed anything.

I'm all out.  If I come up with something extra I'll add it in the comments.

I'd give it one thumb out of two. Three stars out of five, and six out of ten. I suppose by that logic I'd give it 60 out of 100 as well.  I'm very interested in the next couple films, but I wouldn't mind McG moving on and getting in a real director.

Roger Ebert's Terminator Salvation review

Owen Gleiberman's EW review

CHUD's Terminator Salvation  Tag Team review

CHUD's "What Went Wrong with Terminator Salvation?"

Pvt. William Hudson's Facebook fan page

Ricky's having some Pre-T4 Struggles